If high school has taught me anything, it is that premarital sex can destroy a person. Over the course of those four years, I have witnessed the heartbreak and regret that came along with not waiting for marriage to have sex. Though I deeply sympathized with those girls, the conscious decision to save myself for marriage was ultimately motivated by the outcomes of their choices. Yes, of course I have made a few mistakes of my own. However, losing my virginity to someone I did not see myself having a future with was a huge risk I was not willing to take. Additionally, I knew I would most likely have a hard time forgiving myself.
My decision to remain pure has made me a target of mockery over the years and has even raised a few eyebrows considering I am in a five-year relationship with someone I wish to spend the rest of my life with. “How do y’all do it?!” and “have y’all ever thought about doing it?” has been the top two remarks I have heard regarding this matter. Have we ever thought about it? Absolutely! (Sorry, mom and dad) We are young, in love, and most importantly — human. Truth is, we do face temptation, and yes resisting is as challenging as it seems. However, as believers of the Christian faith, it is imperative that we keep God’s commandments (John 14:15).
As frustrating as it can be for many, our season of waiting has been made manageable by the following three ways:
First and foremost,
- Being equally-yoked
Believe it or not, this makes all the difference. Not only does God command us to not be joined with unbelievers, but you will also most likely have a difficult time pursuing purity if you and your partner are not on the same page.
2. More dates!
Along with setting boundaries and staying busy, I do recommend going out more and staying in less. Not only does this leave very little room for lustful thoughts, but it is also much more enjoyable as it allows you to get to know your partner more intimately.
3. Shifting our focus
The battle to remain pure is becoming a non-issue now that God is front and center in our relationship. Does this mean we are now made perfect? No, but choosing to honor God with our lives and bodies allows us to achieve our intended results.
Maintaining sexual abstinence may seem difficult or even impossible to many. However, I’m sure it will be one of the most rewarding.
Also, please know that there is no condemnation in Christ. Therefore, it is never too late to start anew. Waiting for marriage is possible and yes it can be achieved once you have the right focus.